She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I deserve this hangover.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize