I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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