Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
