and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
