omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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