I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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