i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
a search helicopter?!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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