When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
