My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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