mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize