how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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