His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
