Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize