i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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