you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
