That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
