i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
