He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
