After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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