Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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