So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We're too hungover to prance.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
