its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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