hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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