you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Pants are for mortals
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
