Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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