grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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