it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
