So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
