Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
