Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
