my vag is so smooth its legendary
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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