Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
