K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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