Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
