I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize