I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
