I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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