I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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