I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
