The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
