What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
