can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
