anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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