Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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