i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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