If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
