I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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