I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My vagina is very pro this idea
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
