is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
