Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
