So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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