I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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