I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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