Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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