yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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